


How to Avoid Kale

by RunWithWolves



Series: 30 Days of Creampuff [24]
Category: Carmilla (Web Series)
Genre: 30DaysofCreampuff, F/F, HSAU
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-11
Updated: 2015-06-11
Packaged: 2018-04-04 00:09:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,447
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4119546
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RunWithWolves/pseuds/RunWithWolves
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Due to Perry conspiring with her Dad, Laura has found herself on an all leafy green vegetable diet. Fortunately, she'd thought ahead and hidden a package of her beloved cookies in the high school's rarely used kitchen. </p>
<p>Unfortunately, Carmilla found the package before Laura could get her daily fix.</p>
            </blockquote>





	How to Avoid Kale

**Author's Note:**

> So wrote half of really angsty version of this and then changes my mind which is why we didn't get as far as I was hoping. Sorry about that :)

Laura would go to her death defending her belief that there was always time for a snack break. Especially if that snack was a delicious box of cookies hidden in the school’s rarely used kitchen. Apparently home economics wasn’t a priority when you could be taking a spare instead. There was a total of one cooking class or something in the whole school.

Plus, she hadn’t consumed anything sugary all day. Perry had them all on some kind of healthy living plan as a project for one of her classes and the schedule she’d given them left absolutely no room for sugary snack foods. Her Dad, of course, had been all for it. Locking away her snacks and filling her lunch with leafy green vegetable things all according to Perry’s list. 

Thus the secret box in the kitchen. 

Checking her watch, Laura gave herself a solid five minutes to get the cookies and get to her next class. 

She scuttled down the hallway, ducking through the maze of students. The others just didn’t get it. This was Perry’s project, so she was obviously committed. Laf would do just anything Perry asked. It fit right into Danny’s healthy athlete diet and Kirsch wasn’t going to let Danny out-due him at anything. 

Stupid peer pressure making her agree. 

They should have warned her about this instead of all those ‘say no to drugs’ seminars. It should have been, ‘say no to kale’.

The lights were already on when she got to the kitchen and Laura slid through the doorway, beelining straight towards the hardly used cupboard on the left. It held fancy pastry tools or something. Super dusty. 

The perfect place to stash sugary treats. 

Laura yanked the cupboard open and eagerly reached behind the tools for the square package. She could already imagine the crumbling of the cookie on her tongue, with just the right amount of chocolate chips.

Her fingers hit nothing.

She flailed for a moment, fingers waving through the empty space as she popped up on her tip-toes to scrap at the bottom of the back of the cupboard. The cookies were gone. Not possible. 

Looking to her left, Laura spotted a shaky looking stool. She grabbed it and began dragging it over to the cupboard so that she could actually see inside. The box must have just shifted slightly. Bumped by an overzealous football player hitting the cupboard with his big shoulder as he took home ec for an easy grade.

“I wouldn’t do that, cutie,” the female voice was low, echoing off the walls as Laura put a hand on the stool.

She whipped her head around. Lounging against the counter on the other side of the room, all dark leather and black hair, was Carmilla Karnstein. Stereotypical school badass enigma type, brooding and mysterious as the girl seemed to linger in the back of every classroom. Frankly, she was so cliche that it was almost boring. 

Laura continued climbing up onto the stool, “I’m fine, thanks.” she said, “I can handle myself. Not going to fall over.”

The stool teetered a little but stayed put. Laura shot Carmilla a look to prove her point. 

“I don’t doubt it,” Carmilla’s said, “but not what I meant.” A small crunching sound followed her words. 

Laura ignored her, leaning forward to peer further into the cupboard with one foot on the stool and one foot on the counter so she was perched like a frog between them. Shoving the pastry tools out of the way, she ground her teeth when there was nothing in the cupboard. 

No cookies. More crunching from Carmilla. 

Staring at the cupboard like it was intentionally hiding her treats, Laura noticed that the pastry tools were far less dusty than the last time she’d been in the kitchen. In fact, they looked pristine. Of course, someone would decide to use her ultimate cover cupboard for its actual purpose. 

The crunching continued from her audience. 

Still hovering on the counter, Laura quickly scanned the nearby cupboards in case the baker had decided to simply move her treats. Nothing. She slammed her hand against the cupboard in frustration then whirled around when the largest crunch yet filled the room.

“Would you mind-” Laura started, wobbling as she tried to keep her footing. She froze, eyes narrowed as she took in the scene before her. 

Carmilla was leaning against the far counter, one arm crossed over her chest and the other hovering by her face. Holding a cookie. A cookie with a great big bite out of it. 

Laura zeroed in on the cookie, “Is that,” she said, “my cookie?”

“I don’t know,” Carmilla shrugged and took another bite, “your name wasn’t on it.”

“Did you find it in this cupboard?” Laura asked.

Carmilla shot her a smirk, shoved the cookie into her mouth and spoke around the treat, “Sure. Doesn’t mean it’s yours.”

Laura stared at her for a moment. Carmilla kept smirking as she chewed her cookie with the most exaggerated chews a human mouth could manage. 

“I put them there,” Laura said at last, “you can’t just go taking things that don’t belong to you. Some of us need those cookies.”

“Communal kitchen,” Carmilla said, “everything’s for everyone.” Then she reached down, just past where Laura could see. Carmilla shoved another cookie into her mouth, managing to fit the whole thing in at once. 

Laura’s eyes almost jumped out of her head, “And you’re still eating them!”

“Finders keepers, cutie,” Carmilla mumbled around the crumbs flying from her lips. Something in the back of Laura’s mind took note of how a mouth full of cookie was apparently the thing that was capable of making Carmilla Karnstein not look like a badass. The crumbs trailing down her shirt certainly didn’t help.

“I just told you they were mine!” Laura jumped off the stool, tripped and went flying across the room.

She looked up just in time to see Carmilla shove another cookie in her mouth, “Smooth, sundance,” Carmilla said with a smirk.

Laura ignored that comment, drawing herself up to her full height and giving Carmilla her angriest glare, “Look, just give them back. I need them and you’ve clearly had more that your share.”

“That bunched up face you make when you get angry is hilarious, buttercup,” Carmilla said. 

Laura rounded the corner of the counter that separated herself from Carmilla. Her eyes widened as the girl reached for another cookie, the last one in the box. Laura dashed forward and grabbed Carmilla’s arm before the cookie could touch her lips, “You ate the whole box?” Laura shouted.

Carmilla sighed, “I know, I’m surprised too. Normally I wouldn’t lower myself to such a poor quality baked product.” Laura gaped at her. How dare Carmilla insult her cookies. “But I just couldn’t help myself, cutie, after I found out that they were yours.”

“What does the fact that they’re mine have to do with anything?” Laura struggled to wrestle the cookie away from Carmilla.

The girl’s arm didn’t budge, “Well, it’s nice to know that the seemingly perfect Laura Hollis, straight A student, newspaper editor, does actually have a weakness.”

“Cookies are not a weakness,” Laura snapped, “I can stop anytime I want to.”

Carmilla raised an eyebrow and looked down at her.

Laura raised an eyebrow right back, “I just don’t want to. Perry’s got me on this ridiculously green vegetable diet for the next couple of months and if I want to sneak a cookie or two. Then I should be allowed to!”

“Wow, Hollis,” Carmilla said, “I didn’t realize you were such a rebel.” Then Carmilla yanked her arm, pulling it from Laura’s grasp, and taking a big bite out of the final cookie.

Laura’s eyes narrowed, “You did not just do that.”

Carmilla dropped the remaining half of the cookie in her hovering hand, “What? I’m willing to share.”

With a flick of her hair that covered Laura with a shot of her leathery scent, Carmilla turned and strutted towards the door. 

“You owe me a box of cookies,” Laura shouted at her retreating back.

Carmilla didn’t even turn around as she said, “Cupcake, trust me. You don’t want more of those same old cookies.”

“Cookies. Tomorrow.” Laura repeated. 

All she got for her trouble was the door shutting behind Carmilla. Laura looked down at her hand, the half eaten cookie still lying in her palm. She attempted to remind herself that eaten the half bitten cookie of what was essentially a complete stranger was probably violating a ton of health and safety violations. 

Then she thought about all the kale waiting at home. 

She ate the cookie.

**Author's Note:**

> hey creampuffs! Once again, I want to take a minute to tell you all just how awesome you are and how much I appreciate all of your comments and kudos and tumblr interactions (http://ariabauer.tumblr.com/). To clarify, I appreciate them SO MUCH. As in, you could totally fill a 100 huge anglerfish gods with all the appreciation I feel. Basically, thank you. It means a lot whether it's your first of 24th time. 
> 
> This is the twenty-fourth story of '30 Days of Creampuff' where I'll be posting a Carmilla fanfic chapter every weekday for 30 days.
> 
> Stay stupendous. Aria.


End file.
